So, it's been a while. Since my last post in July (!) I've been playing with the baby, trying to get the kitchen redone (never again) and taken up running.
As of this week I've also returned to work and now get to wear clothes that don't require constant and immediate access to my boobs. This is one of the hardest bits of breast feeding for me I've found; the limitations it has on your wardrobe as dresses are pretty hard to wear if you need to get your boobs out in a reasonably discrete way. If you don't, fine, but otherwise it's been tops and jeans and sweaty running gear for the last 11 months.
Anyway, I'm back and the same but different. The same in that I'm still looking for good plus size fashion that makes me feel great and like 'me' (how often do we end up buying clothes because they are there and in our size rather than because they are what we truly want to wear?).
But I'm different in that my body has changed since pregnancy and B's birth. I'm now a size 20-22, down from a size 26-28 previously. I've also started running three times a week so that may have impacted my body shape too.
I've made mistakes along the way: bought clothes the wrong size because I bought the size down with out realising I needed the size down from that too. Bought things without thinking if they went with anything else, or suited my figure. All the rooky mistakes. But now hopefully I've calmed down. My body seems happy where it is so we can park up and wear what I've got and try some new things.
New things I'm enjoying include easy access to tights. Oh the joy of £3 Primark tights that fit perfectly and the ease of being about to buy clothes from a larger range of stores. I still don't understand why so many stores cut off their sizes at an apparently random size 22. Being able to buy running and workout clothes cheaply is another big plus.
The irony is that I didn't look to lose weight, it just happened. When I gave birth I found my pre-pregnancy clothes were too big. I think my appetite shrank while I was carrying B, and it continued while I breast fed him. My weight has now plateaued and I'm fine with that. I had, and continue to have, no interest in diets or actively pursuing weight loss because I know it doesn't work for me in the long term.
As a quick FAQ.
Do I prefer my body now? Well, I think it looks the same, it just seems to fit smaller clothes.
Do I feel like I have more energy? Well, I'm not carrying around a baby in my tummy any more so yeah, I feel better thanks.
Oh you must feel so much better now!? Err, felt fine before thanks.
How much more do you want to lose? Nothing thanks.. but I want to get my 5k running time down.
Are you a sell out to diet culture and body positivism? Part of loving your body and being body positive is loving it whatever weight it decides it wants to be. It's also about treating my body well and making it happy. Running makes my heart sing and my legs ache in a very nice way. I've always liked the way I look.
So, yeah. Hello again. I'm hoping to post OOTD's here and maybe some other bits and pieces.